I Hate Lee | Submissions of Hate

Lee promises chocolate chip but always delivers oatmeal raisin.

Lee probably steals the covers at night. He probably laughs about it while he does it too. His fiancé is subjected to constant farts and snorts through every night, it's a wonder she hasn't held him under a pillow until he stopped. If you made a sandcastle he would knock it over in front of your kids.

It's really okay to hate him too. So many other people do. Don't take my word for it, just see what everyone else is saying.

But, quite frankly, I hate Lee the most. Way more than any of you.

Why? Because I am Lee.

Tell me why you hate Lee too

“

Because of Lee we stopped having kids. We wanted another, but I literally can't bring anything that bad into this world again.

– Lee's Dad

“

It's a shame he's so unfortunate looking.

– One of Lee's Aunts

“

Lee couldn't design himself out of a paper bag. I've wiped my ass and seen better layouts on the toilet paper before I flush it. Honestly, if I were to go back in time I'd fail Lee in every class he took at least twice, just to make sure I never had to see anything he designed ever again.

– Senior Thesis Instructor

“

Have you ever seen Lee walk? It looks like a duck with a peg leg. It would be sad if it wasn't so damn funny.

– Lee's Mom

“

Two words: Little. Bitch.

– Lee's Sister-In-Law

“

Whenever I'm looking for a pick-me-up, I trick Lee into trying to do a math problem. Any math problem. Just try giving him a basic algebra equation. He can't solve it.

– Lee's Manager

“

The only thing I hate more than Lee are his friends. Lee has the worst judgement in people of anyone I've ever met. He is a man with zero standards, and anyone who associates with him (including everyone here) is a piece of shit.

– Another one of Lee's "friends"

“

If I had a magic gun that had 3 magic bullets that could kill any three people across all time and space, I'd shoot Lee 3 times.

– Lee's "Best" Friend

“

I would have fired him if he didn't quit.

– Lee's Boss from the Outdoor Pool

(This one is actually true)

“

Hoh boy. I've been waiting to write this one for a while. If I could pick one thing in my life I would take back, it's becoming friends with Lee in 6th grade. It wasn't that he borrowed my games and never returned them, it wasn't that he never participated in group projects, hell it wasn't even that he held hands with my girlfriend when I wasn't looking. He blamed every fart on my dog. Every. Single. One. I don't know how he lives like that, but he does. Each day, waking up, farting his farts, and blaming it on someone elses unsuspecting pup. It hurts my soul.

– Lee's Actual Best Friend

“

Lee was in my wedding. I didn't want him to be but my Mom felt bad and said I had to. He drank too many Appletinis and threw up green vomit on my Mom. She deserved it, she should have known better.

– Lee's Brother

“

One time I tripped and fell and hit my head on a rock. I lost part of my front tooth, and a lot of my dignity. That is still better than kissing Lee.

– Lee's Wife

“

Lee's a 'giver' in a relationship. And by that I mean he 'gives' you nothing but utter, severe disappointment.

– Lee's High School Sweetheart

Lee promises chocolate chip but always delivers oatmeal raisin.

Lee probably steals the covers at night. He probably laughs about it while he does it too. His girlfriend is subjected to constant farts and snorts through every night it's a wonder she hasn't held him under a pillow until he stopped.

If you made a sandcastle he would knock it over in front of your kids.

Tell my why you hate Lee too

It's really okay to hate him too. So many other people do. Don't take my word for it, just see what everyone else is saying.

But, quite frankly, I hate Lee the most. Way more than any of you.

Why?

Because I am Lee.

Reviews of Lee

Senior Thesis Instructor

It's a shame he's so unfortunate looking.

One of Lee's Aunts

Because of Lee we stopped having kids. We wanted another, but I literally can't bring anything that bad into this world again.

Lee's Dad

I would have rated Lee 0 out of 5 stars but the dickhead didn't give me the option.

Lee's Former Neighbor

Have you ever seen Lee walk? It looks like a duck with a peg leg. It would be sad if it wasn't so damn funny.

Lee's Mom

Two words: Little. Bitch.

Lee's Ex Girlfriend

Whenever I'm looking for a pick-me-up, I trick Lee into trying to do a math problem. Any math problem. Basic subtraction is fine. Just try giving him a basic algebra equation. He can't solve it.

Lee's Manager

If I had a magic gun that had 3 magic bullets that could kill any three people across all time and space I'd shoot Lee 3 times.

Lee's "Best" Friend

I would have fired him if he didn't quit.

Lee's Boss from the Outdoor Pool

(This one is actually true)

Hoh boy. I've been waiting to write this one for a while. If I could pick one thing in my life I would take back, it's becoming friends with Lee in 6th grade. It wasn't that he borrowed my games and never returned them, it wasn't that he told never participated in group projects, hell it wasn't even that he held hands with my girlfriend when I wasn't looking. He blamed every fart on my dog. Every. Single. One. I don't know how he lives like that, but he does. Each day, waking up, farting his farts, and blaming it on someone elses unsuspecting pup. It hurts my soul.

Lee's "Best" Friend

Lee was in my wedding. I didn't want him to be but my Mom felt bad and said I had to. He drank too many Appletinis and threw up green vomit on my Mom. She deserved it, she should have known better.

Lee's Brother

One time I tripped and fell and hit my head on a rock. I lost part of my front tooth, and a lot of my dignity. That is still better than kissing Lee.

– Lee's Fiancé

The only thing I hate more than Lee are his friends. Lee has the worst judgement in people of anyone I've ever met. A man with zero standards, the only expectation he deserves is the expectation to disappoint you. Anyone who associates with him, including everyone here, is a piece of shit.

Another one of Lee's "friends"

Lee's a 'giver' in a relationship. And by that I mean he 'gives' you nothing but utter, severe disappointment.

Lee's High School Sweetheart

But I Love Lee?

I love Lee

lee@itsleewilliams.com